"...Is Rashard Lewis Dead or in a Coma?"

And other reasons why Bill Simmons is the funniest sports columnist going. And the funniest thing in there isn't even sports related:

If you ever watch this game on ESPN Classic, or if you have it on your DVR, make sure you watch the part when the broadcast team is talking to the camera coming out of the timeout and two blondes are behind them making faces and trying to get on TV, and then, like an act of God, one of them leans back to sit down, tumbles backwards and falls right out of the picture. An all-time comedy classic! And a really bad omen for what would happen next.

Though I struggle to believe that game will be showing up on ESPN Classic anytime soon.