My Dogs are Smarter (Or things my dogs hear often)

Managing two dogs is difficult at times, especially when they start getting even a little rambunctious. As a result, I hear myself saying some awfully strange things at times:

-"Let go. Sister's head is not a chew-toy!"
-"Do you want to live to be 2!?"
-"Not on the pants please!"
-"Get off of mommy's head!"
-"How did you get that in your mouth?!"
-"You alright? Good thing your head's made of steel!"