Wait and see

We got home about 7 o'clock last night, after a long, boring 7-hour drive through some of the more desolate parts of Arizona, Nevada and California. I am glad to be home.

Given the nature of the visit, our 3 days with family in Kingman and Laughlin was enjoyable. Yet the cloud of sadness over the death of my grandfather's wife and concern for his future could not be fully shaken. That of course is normal and expected but no less difficult for it's familiarity.

Mari's memorial was short but very sweet. Family spoke of her love for Fred, her talent with paint and brush as well as her innate gift for music. Many of the observations were similar to my own remembrances of visits to La Conchita and weekends spent there with other cousins.

My uncle talked, as though surprised, about her ability to pick up any tune and play it as written on the piano. I remember as a 9-year old standing around the piano in their home, hearing her play and realizing that she was not reading sheet music but playing by ear, and playing perfectly.

Some also spoke of how she worked with my grandfather--even well past retirement age for both of them; she in her 60's and he in his early 70's--on his work projects. Climbing on tanker trucks to prep them for the paint that my grandfather would then apply.

I was reminded of the time I was invited to work alongside them one summer. They had a project in Santa Paula and invited me to join them. To this day, it is probably the hardest single-day's work I've ever done, yet both outlasted the 17-year old.

Much was also made of her painting and her flare for watercolors. We'd seen on each of our recent visits to their home evidence of that talent hanging on their walls.

She was a remarkable woman, no less so for enduring the roller-coaster ride of life with my grandfather. For nearly 50-years they spent no more than a handful of days apart and the pain of separation for my grandfather is obvious to all. Mari will be missed.

As for Fred, the family of course worries. Next month we expected again to gather in Laughlin for another birthday celebration. This time around will of course be far less joyful, though we hope will provide enough evidence as to whether he is able and still willing to keep up his own household on his own. Many of us fear he is not and the greatest concern is that he will simply give up in Mari's absence.

I imagine that at nearly 95 years old, he is tired of life at times. Especially now in the absence of the one that brought him the most joy of all. As to where the family and he goes from here, I guess we just have to wait and see.