Frustrated

I sit here tonight incredibly frustrated.

It's one of those times where the sheer size and number of things going on is overwhelming, despite the fact that none of these irritations taken separately is anywhere near as potent as the force they generate together. It's one of those times where, as I heard myself exclaiming in a moment of futility earlier this evening, "I just want one thing to go right! Just one!"

Turns out I wasn't the only one who was unhappy at work with the implementation of new policies and procedures. It's been promised that we'll revisit the issue in next week's meeting, but there are no promises of a fairer, more equitable resolution.

Frankly, I don't need the accounting department's help in lowering my commissions. I'm doing quite well on that front as we've seen a number of advertisers leave the market and drop my year-to-year revenue nearly 15% on average each of the last three months. The scramble to replace the missing revenue is a slow, painful process and one that will not yield results near as quickly as we'd like.

In the meantime, on the home-front we're left doing a serious juggling act to make our humongous mortgage payment. A stressor that neither my wife nor I need.

The blog continues to be a source of frustration as well; there appears no way that I can keep ahead of the curve on any stories, no way to keep current and relevant on many things I'd like to discuss. It's work enough to write three short posts a day that risk being irrelevant bits of information by the time they're even posted.

My partner in crime feels the same pinch, only much worse. His output is minimal though his desire is great. So where are we?

To my mind this blog is just drifting along, no real direction in terms of where we want to take it, no clear vision as to how to get...anywhere with it and no real following. Our numbers have never been huge, but last summer we were at the point that with some concerted effort we could have grown into some respectable readership.

Instead, all our momentum evaporated in the fall as first I, then Sim both moved and missed weeks at a time while resettling into new homes, jobs and schedules. So here we are.

Where ever that is.