Foolishness on Parade (Or another bad analogy gone horribly wrong)

I had lots of time to sit around and read today. Hours and hours in fact, so I did what I rarely get the opportunity for; went through the paper front-to-back. And there I saw it, like a gift from God.

A letter to the editor, as if written by Indra Nooyi herself. Or maybe some woman trying to channel Indra Nooyi. While the Republic had the right to publish her name, I will not include it with the text--she gave them permission to publish her but she has not given me permission to scoff publicly.

Here, quoted in all it's brilliance is what was on her mind as she considered the opening of the new Star Wars film:

Emperor George bellows from 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.: "If you're not with us, you're against us!" and lies to start wars.

Darth Vader Dick instills fear while cloaking his Imperial lust for power, oil and Halliburton profits.

The Imperial Mainstream Media responds: "We're with you, sires! WE'll cover up your crimes with shoot-the-messenger (Newsweek, Dan Rather) stories, the Michael Jackson circus and runaway-bride trivia!"

The Death Star of destruction, violence and terror continues around the world, making the Empire hated everywhere except in the hearts of its Imperial believers, who are convinced they are on a holy crusade.

The Imperial senators seek to dismantle the last shreds of democracy and social justice with their one-party powers.

When will the Force rise up in rebellion? Where are the rebel leaders when we need them most?

It's so bad it belies any sort of analysis. She took every liberal activist's talking points of the last 2 years, mushed it together with a mangled take on Lucas' universe and...voila!

As for the rebel leaders she so desperately yearns for, they're out there...numerous, strong and organized. Sadly, for her and for their own cause, they are also shrill, inept and ineffective.

If Luke, Lea and Chewie had been this incompetent, they'd still be looking for a way out of the garbage chute.