Girly Man or Witch?

Daniel Drezner displays the kind of wit that is rare among hardcore propellorheads. This is a classic. For what it’s worth, I’m not sure I qualify as I can only say “check” to 1,2 and 5. But on the Giblets standard, I have always been an extremely strong swimmer and am therefore homosexual:

Dunk your son into a deep pool of water. If he floats to the top, he is full of buoyant gaymotrons (identified by physicists as the gay particle) and therefore gay. If he sinks to the bottom and drowns, he is a poor swimmer and unathletic and therefore gay. If he begins to sink and then just sorta hangs there, the water is gay.

Time to start shaving body hair.